7.21.98: Brother Paul Denies Allegations of Factualizing Stories

Scandal Strikes Samizdat OnLine News Service: Brother Paul Denies Allegations of Factualizing Stories

– Charges Include Checking Facts, Verifying Sources, Quoting Accurately, and Providing Balanced Coverage

(Samizdat OnLine News Service--------) In the wake of CNN's withdrawal of a story alleging that American forces had used deadly nerve gas against American defectors during the Vietnam War, the Boston Globe's suspension of columnist Patricia Smith for "fictionalizing" some of the people and facts in her columns, and the Cincinnati Enquirer's firing of reporter Mike Gallagher over ethical problems in developing the Chiquita Banana story, it should surprise no one that scandal has come to that bastion of American satirical reportage: The Samizdat OnLine News Service.

Some readers of Samizdat OnLine have accused publisher, editor, and chief writer Brother Paul Somerville of using actual facts in his news accounts.

He is also charged with quoting politicians and other public figures accurately and in context, with checking his facts (and sometimes even double- checking them); as well as with double- and triple-sourcing his most serious allegations, and with reporting the news in a balanced and objective manner.

"I may have been guilty of many things in my life," Somerville responded to the claims in a press release from the offices of the Samizdat OnLine News Service today, "but no one who knows me even a little would ever accuse me of either using or checking facts, of quoting people accurately and in context, with checking my facts – or paying any attention to them at all, for that matter – or with reporting in a balanced and objective manner."

"These tactics are unethical by the standards of the satirist's art, and I would no more be a party to them than I would refrain from making a joke for reasons of compassion and good taste," Somerville's statement continued.

"Let other, lesser journalists be scrupulous about the facts they present," Somerville said. "As for me, I will make my pass at truth with the tools of satire. Instead of presenting a pack of lies by a pack of liars – a specialty of the Washington, and particularly the White House press corps – I prefer to put into the mouths of politicians the words they would say if they were honest with themselves and their constituents."

"Let's face it," Somerville mused in his press release, "if politicians ever begin telling the truth as they see it, without partisan partiality and in the best interests of their constituents and the general public, I'm out of business."

"However," he added, "I don't envision any Going Out of Business sales for the Samizdat OnLine News Service in the near future. Quite the contrary: I plan to be in the satire business for a long, long time."

Somerville acknowledged that some inexperienced reporters for his news service have attempted to make names for themselves by quoting the actual words and describing the real acts of public figures.

"We threw them out on their ears," he said firmly. "It's just too easy to be funny by telling the unvarnished and uncensored truth, and we won't allow our young writers to take such shortcuts."

"Everything I write is either made up out of whole cloth or ripped from its proper context and transplanted into one to which it is in no way relevant but in which the public positions of the rich and famous become susceptible to ridicule and contempt. Even when I quote accurately, therefore, I often put the words in the mouth of someone other than the person who actually uttered them."

"Either that, or I have the person say the words in a setting which is grotesquely inappropriate and which – I am proud to say – I create entirely myself."

"This storm of criticism – and the preposterous allegations that I quote people accurately, or report news events in ways which are faithful to the facts, that I check or double-check facts or vet sources properly, or that I sometimes attempt to present a balanced viewpoint on an issue – will pass with time," Somerville concluded.

"Let other news sources – CNN and the Washington Post and the Boston Globe and the Cincinnati Enquirer and the like – stand on their stories. For my part, I will have none of that nonsense. Let them display their misleading photographs – I will continue to paint my enlightening pictures."

"Let them stand on their stories," Somerville repeated, "and I will stand – as I have always stood and as I always will – on my imagination."

July 21, 1998

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Ed. Note – the Editor-in-Chief of the Brother Paul Desk has reviewed these allegations of right-doing, and stands behind Brother Paul's comments above. When the fire is coming from the front, there's no safer place to be.

- Dr. A. Thaddeus "Tad" ver Bose